I like driving. It opens my eyes in many ways.
I see dirty little paedophile men in scummy little work vans
ogle schoolgirls in uniforms.
I see dirty cunts picking their noses and eating the fucker.
I see old codgers who don’t know what fucking day it is let
alone what the stopping distance for 50 metres is in wet weather.
I see Slovakians regularly trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records for how many fat people you can get in a twoc'd Lexus with a
smashed back axle, three wheels and no handbrake.
I see people who have problems distinguishing a falling
sheep sign from a big fuck off stop one.
I see people who think those flashing orange lights are
something you only use on the motorway when you’re out of petrol and who think
that the rear view mirror is merely an implement to put on ones lipstick or ensure
ones eyebrows are on fleek.
And I also see that wing mirrors are no longer instruments of
safety, they are merely there just to give a mighty high five to the cunt in
the passing white range rover with the personalised twat plate.
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