The only time he takes you on a shopping spree, he insists on wearing a balaclava and taking along his two bessies, M&P9 & M&P15.
His idea of a breath-taking experience involves you being chased by a zillion police cars and a helicopter with a very big light.
His idea of ‘security’ involves giving you a knuckleduster and a canister of CS Gas.
The only time you see his dirty laundry is when it’s bloodstained.
National security agencies know more about his whereabouts than you do.
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