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Wednesday 17 June 2015

On the shelf for bloody good reason


Some people might say that I’m a cold bitch when it comes to fellas but I’m well within my rights to be, considering the back story. 
  
I was raised as ‘inherited’ baggage by a man who couldn’t stand the sight of me and whose surname, as much as I hate, I have been unable to shed ever since.  
  
My relationship history consists of only three fellas - each one now a distant, painful memory of a Sexually Transmitted Disease.   Each relationship ironing out a crease that only a lifetime of dysfunctional ‘paternal’ conditioning could have ever initially created. 
  
Is no wonder I have developed fighting talk, special combat moves and general dislike for men as potential boyfriend/father to twin children material.  Is also incredibly surprising that most of my ex’s aren’t already pushing up daisies from underneath the patio. 
  
I fell in love with my first boyfriend (because I didn’t know better), I rebelled with my second (because I should have known better) and I got slammed back down into the real world with my third fella (because I was soon to know better!)
  
Each experience, despite how frightening, soul-destroying, demeaning, demoralising and challenging they were, equally taught me one valuable universal lesson. 
  
Me and penis’s are absolutely no good together.
 

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