On the shelf for bloody good reason

Some people might say that I’m a cold bitch when it comes to fellas but I’m well within my rights to be, considering the back story. 

  

I was raised as ‘inherited’ baggage by a man who couldn’t stand the sight of me and whose surname, as much as I hate, I have been unable to shed ever since.  

  

My relationship history consists of only three fellas - each one now a distant, painful memory of a Sexually Transmitted Disease.   Each relationship ironing out a crease that only a lifetime of dysfunctional ‘paternal’ conditioning could have ever initially created. 

  

Is no wonder I have developed fighting talk, special combat moves and general dislike for men as potential boyfriend/father to twin children material.  Is also incredibly surprising that most of my ex’s aren’t already pushing up daisies from underneath the patio. 

  

I fell in love with my first boyfriend (because I didn’t know better), I rebelled with my second (because I should have known better) and I got slammed back down into the real world with my third fella (because I was soon to know better!)

  

Each experience, despite how frightening, soul-destroying, demeaning, demoralising and challenging they were, equally taught me one valuable universal lesson. 

  

Me and penis’s are absolutely no good together.
 

A strong argument for not sticking two fingers up to singledom

I DO like men, they make me laugh. 

  

I just wouldn’t want to be with one in a long term commitment. 

  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a lesbian. I just couldn’t cope with a man twenty four seven. 

  

He’s good for doing the shitty jobs around the house that I can’t be arsed to do (like hoovering, polishing and washing the pots) but I couldn’t rely on him to do it properly.

  

And whilst he’s really good at eating all the food that’s gone off in the fridge which I’m not prepared to feed to my kids, amazingly he hasn’t got a clue what he’s buying when you send him to the shops.

  

So apart from that. . .

   

Nope. 

  

I’m not convinced at all. 

The Facebook Wedding Photo you DON'T want to see

Facebook is a fucker. 

Here you are innocently drifting through pages, flicking through walls, when law and be-fucking-hold, there pops up a picture of someone you once knew very well in an image that you wish he would have rather not. 

  

Oh my fucking God.  What the fuck? 

  

How on earth can a knobhead like him end up in fairytale wedding photos that I’ve coveted all my life? 

  

Fucking black and white arty prints, looking all wistful and dreamy like – nowt like the fucking wassock that he really is, the shit.

  

This man, looking all moody and handsome like in his posh boy little wedding attire is the same man who shoved his dutty shitty pants underneath my mattress to hide them from me and got hit over the head with a hammer from some fella passer-by because he tried to rob some poor fucker for their mobile phone one night. 

  

I mean I’m all for Karma but WHAT THE FUCK?

  

Karma most definitely IS a man – and a fucking shady one at that.

Relationships - 0 v Rusty Pin in the Eye - 1

Dear Spineless Twat, 

Thank you for luring me into a false sense of security and then dropping me from a great height into a big pile of dogshit.

  

Thank you for your ignorance, insensitivity and selfishness, which you obviously couldn’t hide any longer and which manifested itself perfectly to show me what an absolute cunt you really are.

Thank you for reminding me that there is a fucking good reason that I am happier single.

Thank you for helping me to realise that I shouldn’t listen to what’s being said on a date but to pay more attention to what isn’t.

Thank you for reassuring me that the reason I wear full body armour 24/7 is to protect myself from snakes like you.

What the 2015 Election bullshit DIDN'T tell you . .

So basically the Tories got in because:

A)   Labour failed to reconnect with it's true working class identity.

B)   The fringe parties didn’t even get a look in due to a perverted, defunct and outdated voting system.

C)   British people are so sick of political bullshit and skullduggery that they didn’t even bother voting at all.

The media won’t tell you what this actually means for us, the ordinary UK citizen now the Tories are in control (on their own, don't forget!) so you really, really do need to read this. 

And this is just a little snapshot of the chaos to come, I’m afraid.

Although, if you've got a few bob tied up offshore somewhere. . . Don't worry, you (unlike us) will be absolutely fine. 

Tory Cuts: As Bad as we Feared

When the Chancellor, George Osbourne, refused to detail in the budget what observers estimated as £12Bn of cuts required for his plans for the next parliament to work, we all knew the likelihood was the Tories were going to trash disability benefits again. Those cuts have now leaked, and they are everything we feared.

The proposed cuts (with 'savings' per annum where known) are:

Industrial Injuries Compensation Scheme: companies to be made to pay instead. Of course this then puts the onus on the injured party to sue their employer when they refuse to pay out. They're supposed to use an insurer, but consider the history of Unum Provident and their 'disability denial mills'. £1Bn

Carer's Allowance to be restricted to people eligible for Universal Credit. 40% of carers to lose eligibility at a stroke. £1Bn

Contributory Employment Support Allowance (ESA) and Contributory Job Seeker's Allowance (JSA) to be means-tested, meaning 300,000 families losing £80 a week (and then you get to a year and lose everything through time-limiting). £1.3Bn (Edited to add:) The Institute for Fiscal Studies have pointed out this effectively means the abolition of cESA and cJSA, all unemployment claims will be treated on basis of the means-tested basis of Income-Based ESA or JSA, meaning your National Insurance contributions mean nothing.

Disability Living Allowance, Personal Independence Payments and Attendance Allowance to be taxed. £1.5Bn

Council Tax Support merged into Universal Credit.

Child Benefit only for first two children. £1Bn

Regional Benefit Caps to be introduced. Cameron already wants to cut the maximum benefits payable from £26,000 to £23,000, under this proposal only those in London would get that amount, the rest of the country would get less.

Words courtesy of David G @

http://wheresthebenefit.blogspot.co.uk/